CHRIS QUEEN: Brave Cops Target That Criminal Mastermind Scottie Scheffler. “Scottie Scheffler is the number-one golfer on the PGA tour. He’s the reigning Masters champion and the favorite to win this weekend’s PGA Championship. He’s a devout Christian, a devoted husband, and a new father. And thanks to the intrepid work of the Louisville, Ky., Police Department, whose officers totally didn’t overreact, he now faces four charges, including one felony.”

FLORIDA MAN FRIDAY [VIP]: He Was Found Guilty of Grand Theft… Houses? “It’s time for your much-needed break from the serious news, and this week we have the curious case of the man who stole houses, instant karma for a Pokemon shoplifter, and Utah Man’s failed attempt at playing possum.”

THIS IS WAS CNN:

Something that can’t go on forever will stop.